The Day After Tomorrow

It still hasn’t sunk in yet. That I’m actually leaving. That I’m actually leaving day after tomorrow. That I’m actually going to be gone a WHOLE month. No work. No deadlines. Nothing. This is the first time in over a year and a half that I’ve been work-free. It’s also the first time in over two and a half years that I will be gone – out of the country – for such an extended period of time.

I’m excited about going, and it kind of has hit me, but the proximity of it hasn’t, yet, I don’t think. I look up top and see that Day after Tomorrow bit – and really can’t believe that it’s that soon.

So you’re going to have a month of absence from me – not that anyone here cares, I’m sure, cuz from what I can tell, no one is reading my lovely little blog. Oh well. I’ll bring my journals with me, and I’m going to write as much as I can, so hopefully when I come back, I’ll have a lot of really nice stories to tell all you kiddies!

If I Could Change One Thing About Myself...

You know what I need? Ambition. If I was ever lacking anything and needed to change something about myself, that’s what it is. I never got it, I never learned how to get it, so now I don’t know what to do. I have no ambition whatsoever. I know that. But I can’t go around telling people that. Do you know how stupid it sounds? I’d tell people in college, and they’d be like, “oh, it’s normal, don’t worry about it” or “oh, just wait – college is a time for exploring a variety of things anyway”. Now that I’ve graduated – and from grad school at that – I should have a better idea of what I’m doing and what I want to do with my life and be amibitious enough to take those first few steps in the direction of getting there. Yet my concept of who I want to be and what I want to do is really no clearer than it was 5 or 6 years ago. Kinda frightening really. I do want to make something of my life. I want to flourish with whatever it is that I do best. I really feel a calling towards writing – it’s just that I really don’t know what to write. Maybe that’s just an excuse I keep cooking up for myself so that I won’t have to actually do it. I need to suck it up. Brave the prospects of rejection – because every good writer was rejected at some point in time. I need to get my ass in gear and start making something of myself.

You know what, I went out and got my MBA. I’m not okay with staying in an admin position all my life. I’m not okay with being a stay at home mom (not at this point – but maybe that will change when I have kids). I’m not okay with sitting here letting time waste away. I want to do something, get my name out there, actually be able to say at the end of my road “Hey, here’s what I’ve accomplished!” because right now, I’m really not feeling it.

I guess it’s just hard to know where to start, what to do. Do I start writing, find out where I can send it to be published? Should I find an outlet first and then draft something for it accordingly? No – I think the easier thing is to write something, then seek out an appropriate outlet for it…

I’ll keep you posted…

I almost did it – two entries last week. But I was working on it on Friday afternoon and got interrupted and had to leave work (where I was in the middle of it) early – long story that I really don’t want to get into here. So anyway that entry ended up being sort of outdated and so I’m just going to start afresh here.

Topic for tonight – my new job and all that goes with it. It’s actually not so bad. I think my first few days went rather well, considering the fact that everything is really new to me. I’m enjoying the people I work with, my boss is great, though self-admittedly a bit absentminded at times, but he’s a really great guy. The work that I do is interesting – keeping track of different client accounts, trying to get myself to think strategically about how we can attract new client accounts and get existing clients to renew their accounts with us.

Working in NYC itself is a whole ‘nother experience. I don’t know if it’s the people or the environment, but everything is just more…I don’t know…professional. Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing, but I don’t mind it. Makes me feel a lot more important and it’s also exposing me to a whole other corporate culture, and to be honest I’m really relishing the experience. You can study in a classroom all you want, but you never really know what you will face until you’re actually in the situation – meaning the work environment. And I really think that’s where the fun truly begins.

The commute is kind of a downside, but other than getting up early, I’m really not minding it all that much. I hate getting up so early, but once I’m on the train – really, once I’m in my car on my way to the train station, I’m okay. I read the paper on the train, get to work, truck away, and get on the train to come back home. It’s fine. One thing though – my boss wasn’t kidding when he said this wasn’t your typical 9 – 5 job. I’ve never left work this week (other than Friday) before 6 pm. Late nights. I come home, eat, and basically fall into bed. There’s no time during the week to get anything done. (Much less a journal entry….)

I’m not going to go into what I do in too much detail…maybe the next entry. The next entry I’ll also try and talk about what we’re doing to get ready for our India trip. Just don’t have the time now. J It’s almost time for Cold Case, and I’d like to watch that, - and my newest guilty pleasure, Desperate Housewives. Caught the encore last night and let me tell you – it was just as good as people said.

So until next time, ‘night kiddies!!…

I'm Not a Slacker - Really

Current Mood: Excited

Current Music: Race Wars - BT


I skipped one week technically. But really, to be honest, I actually had an entry all typed up, but just never got a chance to post it. So this is sort of a do-over. But fine, if you want to be picky, say it – I slacked off this past week. I’ll try to do two entries this week, but since it’s going to be my first week at my new job, I’m not going to guarantee anything.

Now – about my new job. I’ve got anxieties, just like anyone else. I’m nervous about the job itself. Now that I know getting to New York is easy, and now that I’ve got the commuting part taken care of, my next concern is the job itself. Will I be able to perform whatever duties are expected of me, and meet the expectations that everyone else has of me? I mean, I kind of have a general idea of what I’m supposed to be doing, but – and I think this is perfectly normal – I’m concerned that I won’t be able to dive right in and just hit the ground running. What I mean is, I feel like it’s going to take me a few days, if not at least a week, to where I’ll be able to get the hang of things. There are so many aspects to this job that are brand new experiences for me:

Working in New York itself is working in a whole new type of environment. I’m sure the professional mentality is much different than that of working in a Princeton/South Brunswick office.

Then there’s the group of people I’m working with/for. All men. Not only is this the first time that I’ll be working with a group of all men and absolutely NO women, but this is also the first time that I can recall where I will actually have a male boss.

Finally, you’ve got the actual department that I’m moving to. I’m currently in Corporate Relations, but I’m moving to a department that’s more along the lines of Marketing, Sales, and Advertising. Again, definitely a whole new ball game for me.

Like I said, though, I think these feelings are normal. These anxieties, I guess. So the most I can do is just take a deep breath, go in, and give it my best shot. Mistakes are normal, and it’s only human to make them, but I need to be careful, be thorough, and really think about what it is that I’m hoping to achieve.

I guess what I’m trying to get at in some weird roundabout way, is that even though I’m nervous, I’m really excited. I’m looking forward to getting started and trying something new, and willing to give it a shot. Someone up there has a lot of faith in me, so I am really excited about proving myself and showing them that they really didn’t make a mistake when they chose me.

Wish me luck – I start on Tuesday!!!